The Lonely Island
Now let's take a trip down memory lane
Back to junior high school where it all began
Three bad little kids raising hell at school
We were just thirteen straight actin' a fool
Every day after class, kiv's house was the spot
Making crazy prank calls hoping not to get caught
Best friends, blood brothers, yo, we one and the same
'Till one fateful afternoon when everything changed
One day playing punch out up in kiv's room
The house started shaking and we heard a "kaboom"
Looked out the back window saw a billow of smoke
Yo, your backyard is smashed, man this isn't a joke
(Let's go check this out man!) (I bet, let's go)
All the smoke and debris led straight to the basement
Yo, what the hell is that? man, it looks like a spaceship!
We all ran for cover and the hatch opened wide
And a little green dude stepped out from inside
He said, "I'm from mars, and I come in peace
I have something to ask, and it's not discreet
There's a mutated strain in our dna helix
And you three kids are the ones who can heal it"
But we're just thirteen, man, what can we do?
"Um, how should I put this? I think we should screw" (what?)
"On our home planet we can no longer breed
I've been sent a self-receptacle for storing your seed"
Storing our seed? yo, I think he means sex
Man, I'm a virgin, we all are, bad!
"I'm just gonna lie here, and close my eyes"
Aw, what should we do? now it's spreading it's thighs!
"You'll be heroes on our planet!" but why us three?
"You're the chosen ones, you'll just have to trust me"
(Yo should we do it?) (I don't know!)
(Yo, I say we put it to a vote.)
All in favor, say aye. aye!
Okay, we're in! "cool." Who should go first?
"I have three depositories to capture your burst"
Wait, at the same time? "yeah, that's what I was thinking
Now here's some wine coolers, let's get you boys drinking"
We pounded the drinks, and started getting tipsy
We took our positions, and started getting frisky
One in the front and two in the back
Had it locked up like a Chinese finger trap
"Keep pumping away! my wife and family thank you"
I'm about to explode! yo son, me too!
Three way climax! best friends forever!
Who would thought that we've lost our virginities together
"Andy, Jorm and Kiv, you've saved our race
Your reward is one wish then I'll go back to space"
We looked at eachother, didn't have to talk
Knew exactly what he wanted before he took off
Mr. alien sir, for what it's worth
We wanna be the greatest fake mc's on earth
"your wish is granted, and thanks again
You may have saved my planet but I'm losing three friends
What happened today was both incredible and bad
Therefore your name is incredibad"